


Collar Full of Chemistry

by Underthecorktree



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Attempt at Humor, Charlie Ships It, Christmas Fluff, Everyone Is Alive, Fluff, Gift Giving, Human Castiel, Humor, Light Angst, M/M, Men of Letters Bunker, Pet Names, Sam Ships It, seriously it's Christmas
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-23
Updated: 2015-12-23
Packaged: 2018-05-08 14:38:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,589
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5501135
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Underthecorktree/pseuds/Underthecorktree
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sam decides that talking about feelings is necessary, Dean disagrees and that leads him to making a really stupid bet with Sam. This isn't just any bet however, Dean can only refer to Cas using a pet name until Christmas unless he wants to admit his feelings for the fallen angel. It's a really, horribly, stupid idea, but Dean is not about to lose a bet with a moose. He just hopes he's a good enough actor to hide his true feelings from Castiel.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Collar Full of Chemistry

**Author's Note:**

> This story was written while I was supposed to be writing a fic for this years Secret Santa Exchange. Enjoy the products of my procastination. 
> 
> This was not beta read, so all mistakes are my own.
> 
> Title comes from the Panic! at the Disco song "Collar Full"
> 
> All the rights to Supernatural and it's characters belong to Kripke, WB, and the rest of the Supernatural crew, I am merely borrowing them for your enjoyment.

He stumbled out into the darkened hallway, feet freezing as they padded across the cement flooring of the bunker. It may have added to effect of the place, looking more like bomb shelter than the library it really was, but it was bitch to deal with on cold winter mornings. Dean entered the kitchen, rubbing his eyes as they adjusted to the burst of light. Sam was up. Not that he really had any doubt. Most mornings, he woke up, went for a jog, and stirred up some of his rabbit food, before Dean or Cas had a chance to even walk, blurry eyed, out of their bedrooms.

Dean offered a cursory nod at Sam, before ducking his head down into the fridge and fishing out everything he would need for omelets. Figuring Sammy was too good for Dean’s greasy cooking, he only gathered enough ingredients for him and Cas. The angel turned human still had the same affinity for meat products that he’d had with Jimmy still inside him, and Dean would be lying if he said he wasn’t a little proud of the guy for that. Walking back toward the stove, he set the burner on high and turned to the rack of pans to grab a skillet, then placed it down on the heated surface.

Thinking of Cas once again, he started up the coffee pot, throwing in Cas’ favorite mix grounds, and placed two mugs near the machine. Cas wouldn’t be up for another half an hour, but it always helped to be prepared. Even with Christmas nearing, the dude was freaking grumpy in the mornings, especially without his minimum of two cups of coffee. Dean hoped that the omelet would entice him into being a little friendly this morning so he could rope Cas into going Christmas shopping with him later. He still needed to buy his gifts for Sam, Charlie, Kevin, and Cas, but he was not about to brave the mall alone.

Startling him from his thoughts, Sam made a loud coughing noise to get his attention. Dean turned to him, seeing Sam’s annoyed glare staring back at him, and rolled his eyes.

“Out with it, Sammy.”

“I’m gonna’ go out on a limb here and guess that the coffee isn’t for me.” He said with a nod toward the mugs.

“Damn right. You can get your own. You’re a big boy.”

“And Cas can’t?”

“ ‘Course he can. But have you seen the dude in the mornings? Practically claw your eyes out just for talking to him.”

Sam looked like he was going to back down for a second, considering Dean’s argument, but then he seemed to come to a different conclusion. As if he was giving himself an internal pep talk, a range of emotions flitted across his face. Uncertainty, anger, amusement, and the resolve. Sam looked up, locking eyes with Dean to assure he was listening.

“Are you sure this isn’t about something else?”

“What?” Whatever Dean had been expecting, it wasn’t that. What the hell could he have to be sure of? Cas struggled enough as it was with being human. Dean wasn’t going to make it any harder on him, plus, he’d do anything for that small smile that graced Cas’ face on the mornings that Dean was there to hand him a home cooked breakfast and fresh coffee. It was one of the few things he actually allowed himself to indulge in, even if, deep down, he knew it was wrong.

“I just mean that, maybe there’s something more going on. Maybe your feelings for Cas aren’t quite so...brotherly.”

“What the hell does that mean? Cas is family, you know that!”

“Yeah he is, I see him as a brother De--”

“What and I don’t? I’m the one with the ‘profound bond’ with the guy, not you!”

“Exactly.”

“Oh.” Oh… Dean just realized what Sam had been leading toward, and he didn’t like it at all. No one, not even Sam, was supposed to know about that. He was so certain that he hid it well, but maybe he was wrong. Instead of allowing Sam to see his internal freak out, he decided to play it off with a joke. That wouldn’t seem suspicious, he made jokes about this type of thing all the time.

“Yeah. Right, Sammy. Good one. I’m totally just so in love with the guy. I mean, I did make him coffee, that’s obviously the deepest expression of love.”

“Come on, Dean. Don’t do this.”

“You know what, Shut the hell up, Sammy. I don’t have to talk about to this. It’s not like Cas understands that sort of thing anyway. I could probably start calling him babe and sweetie or whatever, and he would never even realize that it was different the something like buddy or pal. The guy might be human, but it doesn’t mean he understands us.”

“I don’t know, Dean. I think he picks up on more than you realize.”

“Oh, yeah, you wanna’ bet?” Dean knew it was a bad idea, a terrible one in fact, but he couldn’t stop his stupid brain before the words came out. He wanted so badly to prove himself to Sam that he didn’t love the guy, that he went and damned himself anyway. Maybe Cas wouldn’t understand the words, but Dean definitely would, and that was not a headspace he ever wanted to put himself into, especially considering that it wasn’t even real. How could he pretend to love Cas, while actively pretending that he didn’t? This had to be one of the worst decision he had ever made, and the small upturn of Sam’s mouth told him that he knew it too.

Sam had already won.

***      
The rules of the bet were as follows:

If Dean won, Sam could not force him to talk about his ‘feelings’ for a month. If Sam won Dean had both cleaning duty for a week and had to admit his feelings for Cas.  
Both Dean and Sam were unable to explain anything/make any mention of the bet to Cas.  
Dean must only address Cas with a term of endearment until Christmas.  
If Dean messed up and called him something else, the rules of the bet would escalate into further ‘couple-like’ actions, to be determined by Sam.  
The only way out was for Dean to forfeit, therefor making Sam the winner.

For something so simple, Dean was terrified, and Cas hadn’t even come into the kitchen yet. How the hell was he supposed to avoid referring to Cas by his name when that’s all he had called him for the past 7 years. He was going to murder Sam for adding that stupid clause about escalating the ‘relationship’. What did that even mean, especially when there wasn’t even a relationship in the first place?

He watched as Sam began snickering into his glass of juice, looking at the doorway with amusement in his eyes. Cas was behind him. He turned to face the angel, willing his expression to come across less ‘frightened and dying on the inside’ and more ‘happy to see his best friend’. It must of worked, because Cas simply grunted out a greeting and walked over to the coffee pot to pour a drink into his mug.

Dean hopped up quickly, grabbing a plate and sliding Cas’ omelet onto the porcelain. He held the plate out towards Cas, gripping it tighter than he should and said, “Here you go, Babe. I made breakfast.”

Cas tilted his head at him, squinting his eyes with a look of confusion. He looked down to his coffee,and then back up at Dean, and then down to the plate in his hands. It looked like he decided something as he grabbed the plate out of his hands and went to sit down in the chair across from Sam, conveniently next to Dean’s seat. He took a bite of his food and glanced back up at Dean with a small smile on his face.

“Thank you, Honey.” He said, before digging back into his food.

Dean’s face lit up bright red as Sam’s laughter filled the room. Cas seemed like he didn’t get what was so hilarious, but didn’t question it, probably due to it being too early to deal with their crap. Dean was just as lost, wondering whether or not Cas understood the implications of what he had just said, but he made the comment so easily, as if meant nothing. Dean assured himself that his secret was safe. This was just some weird angel thing. It was probably just Cas imitating something he saw on one of the shows he had binged on Netflix. There was no way that he actually knew what Dean was saying, right?

***

One day. Dean had lasted one freaking day. He had gone all day yesterday without incident, pulling out all the stops with every cutesy name he could think of, but it all went to hell. It wasn’t like it was his fault, he had bigger things to think about then calling Cas his sweetheart. Which he hadn’t actually used yet, he’d need to remember that for later, but that was besides the point. Dean was going to murder Sam.

The day started off fine. Dean made breakfast for all three of them, because Sam skipped out on his run to make sure Dean followed the rules. Cas sat beside him once again as they ate, staring thoughtfully in Dean’s direction every so often. There was little conversation, but everything was carefully considered.  
  
Dean asked, “How’s the bacon, Darling?”

Cas answered, “It’s perfect, Pumpkin.”  
  
Later, as they sat watching Jessica Jones on Netflix, Dean was lulled into a sense of safety. He was doing well, Cas wasn’t asking questions, and Sam regained control over his laughter after about the 3rd remark Dean made the previous day. Dean was so engrossed in his thoughts that he had no clue what had occurred on screen moments ago. Turning to Cas, who was clearly still into the show, he asked, “Why did the Doctor just get hit by a bus, Sweetie?”

“Because he was chasing after Jessica, my little marshmallow.” Cas answered, while Dean stared at him wondering where the hell he got ‘marshmallow’ from.

Winchester luck however, finally caught up with him just before they headed to bed. Dean was shutting down the Netflix app while Sam cleaned up the trash around the table from the snacks Dean gathered up for them. Cas was in the kitchen, because he volunteered to wash the dishes, claiming he wanted to be of more use to them. None of Dean’s protests that he didn’t need to prove his worth got through to the guy. If a simple task would make him feel better, then so be it.

Dean stepped into the kitchen, planning on telling Cas ‘goodnight’ and ushering him off to bed. That plan changed the moment he saw the state of the kitchen and his soaking wet angel glaring at the dishwasher like it had kicked his puppy. Trying to put the pieces together, Dean glanced around the room. The dishes were all stacked up in the sink with water flowing from it, and bubbles piling on top of one another. From this angle, Dean couldn’t tell if the faucet was still on, but he was almost certain it was. The dishwasher was hanging open, suspiciously empty of dishes, and dish soap was pouring everywhere. Honestly, he had no clue what the hell had happened in there, but he did know who was responsible.

“Fucking hell, Cas!” He shouted, too angry to correct himself.

Cas glanced up at him, now noticing that he was in the room, and gave him the best sad kitten impression he had ever seen. It wasn’t going to work this time though, Dean spent hours cleaning the kitchen and now it was a complete disaster.

“I’m sorry, pudding pie, I just...The soap...and the water...and the stupid thing wouldn’t start.” Cas said, turning back to glare at the machine.

“Don’t you ‘pudding pie’ me! You are cleaning up this mess.” Dean stated, stomping off toward his bedroom.

Sam caught him just before he entered his door, and handed him a piece of paper.

“What’s this?” Dean said.

“You broke the rule. That’s your punishment.” Sam said mysteriously, before walking off to his own room.

Dean glanced down at the slip of paper, unfolding it and smoothing out the creases. Sam had written written a list on it with detailed instructions on the ‘punishment’ as he called it. Dean read, “ _Because you broke the rules of the bet, and have chosen not to forfeit, you may now only use the following terms for Cas._ ” The list was filled with the most ridiculous names that Dean could think of, but he wasn’t about to lose, nothing was worth having to talk about his feelings for Cas. At least this punishment wouldn’t involve, touching or something like that, only immense embarrassment, and Dean could deal with that, probably.

***

  
The next morning, Dean memorised most of the list in order to avoid looking too suspicious by pulling a note out of his pocket every time he spoke to Cas. Sam was waiting at the table, like always, and Dean was standing at the stove, when Cas shuffled in, yawning and groaning about being awake this early. He was in a ‘dead guy robe’ as Sam liked to call it, and little bumble bee slippers that Dean bought him for Christmas but couldn’t wait to give to him. Out of the corner of his eye, he could see Sam smirking at him, and knew he was going to have to play out his punishment.

“H-Hey, Snuggle Butt, you want some coffee?” He said, blushing and looking down at his feet.  
Cas grunted his affirmative and took the mug from Dean’s hand, going to sit down at the table. Dean turned back to his sausage and tried to busy himself as much as possible to avoid talking. Sam, however, had other ideas.

“So, Dean, did Cas tell you he thinks he found us a case?”

“No, he didn’t” Dean glared at Sam before continuing, now addressing Cas, “Tell me about it, Tater Tot.”

If Cas found the pet names weird, it didn’t show in his face. He droned on about a possible werewolf in Michigan. Dean nodded along, trying to seem interested without verbally responding. Dean wasn’t so sure they should drive all the way to Michigan for a simple werewolf though, so eventually he had to speak up, much to Sam’s amusement.

“But, Cuddle Cakes, don’t you think we could send out another hunter to get that done? I want to be here for Christmas.” Dean said, mumbling the last part to avoid another feelings talk, but it was clear Cas heard him.

“Of course, Chickadee. Sam could you call someone in the area?” He asked, ignoring Sam’s clear struggle to breath in his attempts to hide his near hysterical laughter.

“Y-Yes..I...I can do that.” Sam finally said, calming himself down a little, while still looking at Dean in amusement.

The rest of the day was more of the same. When Dean wanted to do some last minute shopping, he called out “I’m heading into town, Sugar Cookie, do you want to come with me?” Then, when he was getting ready to watch Die Hard, the best Christmas movie, he said “Could you make some popcorn, Gummy Bear?” Finally, when Cas was falling asleep on his shoulder and the ache in Dean’s back got too much to handle, he got to the last name on the list, the one he had been avoiding all day.

He scrunched up his face, looking toward Cas before saying, “Let’s head to bed, S-Sex...Muffin.”

Sam wasn’t even in the room, but he heard him bursting into laughter all the way in the library. Dean’s faced glowed bright with embarrassment, rushing through the nightly routine of shutting off the lights and cleaning up their mess. Looking back at Cas, he was pulling himself up from the couch, but oddly enough, his expression remained unchanged. He thought, for a moment, that maybe Cas really was that oblivious. However, that idea abruptly ended when, just before reaching his bedroom, he turned toward Dean.

“Sleep tight, Cowboy.” He said winking.

Thank God tomorrow’s Christmas, Dean thought.

***

Christmas morning, it actually snowed. It was to be expected really, because it had snowed the past 3 days, but still, Dean couldn’t remember the last time he had such a perfect Christmas. At least, it would be perfect if this stupid bet ended at midnight last night, instead of midnight tonight. Dean told himself he would power through, even if he now doubted Cas’ innocence in that matter.

Dean was the first one at the tree, it wasn’t large by any means, but it was a real tree, and they decorated it together. There were already presents under the tree, they each agreed to get each other one thing, and by the looks of it, everyone had stuck to the rule. Charlie and Kevin were a part of the gift exchange as well, but their were being sent through the mail, so Charlie could celebrate with her girlfriend, and Kevin with his mom.

Dean made everyone hot chocolate instead of coffee. He knew it might piss off Cas, but he could deal with it. If this was going to be the perfect Christmas, they were all drinking the fancy ass hot chocolate Dean spent 20 minutes making for them. He sat the cups on the table in the library as Sam was descending the steps from his room. Sam picked up his drink with a smile and a nod of thanks toward Dean, but remained silent.

Dean was just starting to think after half an hour, and having to put Cas’ drink in the microwave, that he was going to have to brave waking the guy up, but just as he rose from his seat, Cas stumbled into the room. He waved at them both, the sleeves of his oversized Christmas sweater falling down his arm just a bit. He looked way more adorable than any grown man had the right to be, and Dean’s heart picked up it’s pace at the sight of him.

He waved Cas over to his seat, assigning himself into the role of handing out the presents, and put 4 wrapped packages in Sam’s lap. Sam, being the nerd that he is, took his time to geek out over each of his presents. From Charlie, he’d received a boxset of the Harry Potter novels, which for some reason, he didn’t own. Kevin had sent him a charm for some protection sigil that he’d found while researching. Cas, who’d apparently learned to knit in the few months he’d spent as a human, gave him scarf with little moose embroidered in it. Finally, Dean had gifted him a photo album that he’d compiled of copies of any family pictures he could find. It had taken a long time, but the small tears in Sam’s eyes told him that it was worth it.

Cas was next to receive his gifts, and looked surprised that he’d even gotten anything, to which Dean rolled his eyes.

“Sweetheart, don’t be ridiculous. You’re family too.” He said. “Now open your damn presents.”

Cas took the time to carefully peel off the paper surrounding each gift, going in the same order as Sam. Charlie gave him a book as well, Carry On by Rainbow Rowell, with a note attached that said, ‘ _You’ll understand why I didn’t get you Harry Potter too.’_ Kevin got him a bracelet with enochian protection sigils engraved into the metal of the band, and Sam got him a book about beekeeping in Kansas, which earned him an awkward attempt at a hug. When Cas got to Dean’s present, he spent so much time making sure the paper wasn’t damaged that Dean had to yell at him to hurry up once more. It had taken him a while to find, he thought that he’d searched every store in the state of Kansas, but then he stumbled upon the perfect gift. It was a small silver necklace, the chain attached to both ends of the charm, and in the center was a pair of detailed and absolutely beautiful angel wings. Cas looked up, holding back tears, Dean hoped they were happy and not the ‘you just brought back painful memories’ kind of tears.

“How do you like it, Angel?” He said, trying to come off as his usual smug and confident self, but failing when his tone was soft and reverent.

“It’s gorgeous Dean, Thank you.” Cas stated, standing up and getting in Dean’s lap to squeeze him tight.

Dean’s eyes widened, wondering what the hell was going on with Cas. He didn’t hop up into Sam’s lap when he’d hugged him. This was not normal. There was absolutely no way this was normal, and what Cas said next confirmed it.

“You’re the best boyfriend ever, Dean.”

Before Dean could even respond to the statement, Cas leaned down on kissed him straight on the mouth. It was simple and chaste, but full of so much affection that their was no way for Dean to mistake its meaning. As Cas leaned back, they stared into each other’s eyes before Dean simply said, “Yeah, I guess I am.”

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading. Feel free to comment, I try to reply to them all. You can find me on Tumblr at FantasticalDrew.


End file.
